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Wedding Cum Reception Card

Hi Everybody,
Well somedays back I got a request from one of my friend that I should make the invitation card for his wedding cum reception. Well I was shocked to know that my friends perceive that I am a designer too. I am quite thankful for this perception of you all people but I feel sorry to say that I don't have any designing skills. So I just finalised with him that I am ready to write the content for your card but not the design,& thank God he agreed, as according to him I have a good content writing skills. So I just wanted to verify from you people that whatever I have written is perfect enough for him. As he is my one of good friends so I don't want any problems with it. So please help me to make it a success. And pls. do not copy it for any of your friends as I have already patented it from USA PATENT CO.

AKASH Weds VANI
Venue: All India Radio Station.
Special Attraction: This is a Marriage.
Instruction Manual: Do read before coming.
1. We request you to please come,preferably alone to our son's marriage party.
2. We request you to bring gifts.

3. It is expected from the guests that they should have some food at home before attacking the food at the marriage party. This act would be highly appreciated. We promise you to do the same when we attend some party of yours.

4. It is also expected from the guests,not to empty all powder,lipsticks & perfumes on their face. If you still do so, we won't be held responsible for not recognising you.

5. Please avoid bringing children to the party as they themselves may want to get married. We request the parents to clear the misconception of their children,by telling that "marriage is not an attraction,but a distraction."

6. If the guests are unable to attend the marriage party,we would deeply regret the loss of your absence & gifts also. In that case,just ring us & our man will collect the gifts from your home. We call this door to door service.

7. Guests are requested to bring a car if they have one. If they don't have,we request them to rent it for one hour as a car would create a favourable image on our 'Samdhi'. Our 'Samdhi' would think we are 'be-car'.

8. The marriage ceremony will start with "dulha" (i.e.our son) on a horse. You might be thinking why we arranged for a horse & not a donkey. Actually we did thought of it but we felt that a donkey on a donkey won't match.

9. As regards to bringing cash in envelope,we would like to remind that we always gifted Rs.1.25 & no less,when we came to attend your party. Now its your turn to pay. We expect atleast not less than Rs.125 the difference being the inflation rate added.

10. All the marriage ceremonies will be performed in a mandir. We didn't think of a hotel because it was too simple & glamorous & non-filmy. We wanted something more realistic & I guess you got it,it's cheap also.

11. We have noticed & practiced many times that the amount one receives a invitation to a party,he does go on fast till the party date. This act causes widespread consumption of food. Now,it is we who are going to be victim of such act,we request you that "don't be so hard & fast about fast." "Can't you give up eating."

12. We would like to bring to your notice that our son,who is the marriage boy,has only one eye. He is 'kana' but God has compensated by giving him two chins i.e. double chin. When you look at our son,you get the impression that man was really once an animal. His wife is no less in beauty. She is so thin that at times she becomes invisible. We call them a perfect pair,just like Laurel & Hardy.

13. Lastly there is a warning. In our first son's second marriage party we found that the number of spoons were far less at the end of party than at the beginning. Taking away the spoons in the pocket is really a shameful act. We request you therefore not to take away either the plate,utensils or spoons as we have called special guards to prevent this kind of act. For those who are compulsive thieves,we offer a spoon free if you are not found stealing. We hope that you would,after reading this,certainly grace the occasion with your absence. Thanks.

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