Skip to main content

The secrets to happy single-hood.

We’re not breaking ground here—you’ve probably heard this adage from smug marrieds enough times to make your blood boil. But guess what…it’s true. “Being single gives you time to explore what makes you happy, which ultimately makes you a stronger, more well-rounded person…and a person new people want to be around. Here’s how to make it happen.

Step 1: Quiet the little voices: Let’s face it, society constantly reminds people that you need to be paired up to be happy—to be a real grown-up. Just walk by any newsstand: No less than three out of five cover lines of women’s & men’s magazines promote sex or relationships. “They can often make it seem that everyone’s involved in a really hot love affair except you,”
So how can you tune out the static? Check your friends—are you hanging out with enough like-minded singletons? Being with couples can often make it worse. You may find yourself constantly comparing yourself to them. And when Mom (or anyone else) asks for the millionth time why haven’t you settled down, be frank. Say, “I really appreciate that you want me to be happy. but your constant focus on how I’m not in a couple is not making me happy.”

Step 2: Dig up the past: To be truly happy as a single, you need to redefine yourself as single by choice, at least for now—someone who doesn’t just settle for anyone. Along your journey as a single person, you’ve probably had your fair share of groan-worthy relationships. Use that knowledge to your advantage & (re)discover all the ways it’s better to be single & happy than stuck in a rut with a dud. Need a memory refresh? Review your relationship history on paper. For each partner, list how long you two were together, what you liked & disliked about this person, & why it ended. If you only recall the good times (it happens), enlist some truth-seekers (a.k.a. your friends). Ask them to remind you of an unworthy boyfriend or girlfriend from your past. Soon enough, you’ll start to realize that it’s better to be free than, say, dating a freeloader.

Step 3: Work on a relationship…with yourself.Being single is a great opportunity to grow as a person—to appreciate yourself & your idiosyncrasies. “Just like all the other relationships in your life—with your family, your friends—it takes a lot of work to maintain a relationship with yourself. The more you know about yourself, the more you know the type of person you want to be with.
But self-realization doesn’t always come easy. You can get started with a few simple writing exercises. Journals help you delve deeper into your feelings. Start writing about a hot-button topic, like the get-married pressure you’re getting from Mom. By taking the time to describe why something angers you, you’ll start to understand yourself & your motivations better. Positive, focused writing can have the same effect: Try listing your life goals & when you want them to happen, regardless of whether you’re single or married. Finally, realize that happiness can come from places outside relationships: Creative projects, travel, your career. Need a kick-start? Jot down at least five things that make you happy every day.

Step 4: Celebrate your single-hood: With new episodes of Sex & the City long gone, it seems that there’s an empty hole to fill—the one that glamorizes the single life. “Now all that’s left are shows like The Bachelor. So create your own ways to celebrate single-hood & live it up! And remember, everything has a good side; you just have to learn how to spot it—or reframe it. If sleeping alone at night triggers a sense of loneliness, respin the situation in your mind to realize the benefits (you can eat ice cream in bed, sleep diagonally, snooze, snore…you name it). Finally, make a list of 100 things that you would like to do by yourself—things you could never do if you had a boyfriend or girlfriend—& start doing them.

Comments

  1. Seems like you are a quality single person and enjoying your singlehood. Well I would prefer to be a attached person rather then single. Being single is a shameful thing in country like USA but in your country I presume it might be ok to be single. But yes, your post would be a great motivator for the single's out there.
    -Jim Stroman

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Will Automation make human work obsolete?

Will Automation make human work obsolete? Robots now build cars and power mechanical diggers and other "dumb" jobs. What will surprise you is how quickly "mechanical minds" are making human brain labor less in demand. Still think robots can’t do your job? Automation and robotics will eventually take over most of the tasks, especially the labor expensive ones, as computing gets smarter. Talk of robots making humans obsolete is generally a topic that is still laughed off as science fiction by most, but this video could get you to rethink the future human work. It lays out a compelling case for why almost half of those currently in the work force could struggle to find work once automation takes over in the near future. Unlike "the singularity," in which artificial intelligence takes over the planet in rapid and dramatic fashion, this paints a picture, backed up by statistics and current developments, indicating that the true singularity will occur gradually,

The Science of Willpower

How willpower is often misunderstood, and what we each can do to improve it? It’s the third week in Jan. and at about this time, that resolution that seemed so reasonable a week ago — go to the gym every other day, read a book a week — is starting to seem very hard. As you are teetering on the edge of abandoning it all together Kelly McGonigal wants you to know that you’re not having a hard time sticking to a resolution because you are a terrible person. Perhaps you’ve just formulated the wrong resolution. People come up with resolutions that don’t reflect what matters most to them, and that makes them almost guaranteed to fail. Willpower is the ability to do what matters most, even when it’s difficult or when some part of you doesn’t want to. That begins to capture why it’s so difficult — because everything we think of as requiring willpower is usually a competition between two conflicting selves. There’s a part of you who is looking to the long-term and thinking about certain goa

The new coming wave of automation is blind to the color of your collar

The new coming wave of automation is blind to the color of your collar Kaplan said that in the next decade or two, driverless cars could put many of the more than three million licensed professional drivers around the country out of work. While automation long ago revolutionized the assembly line, advances in big data computing power could soon downsize the traditional white collar workforce as well. "Even what you think of as advanced professions that require a great deal of specialization and expertise, the vast majority of the work is routine, and it's those routine tasks which can be now taken over by computers, so that what used to take the work of 20 lawyers may be done by five lawyers, or 20 doctors may be done by five doctors," Kaplan said. Maybe even journalists. Now computers are creeping into the reporting field. At The Associated Press, approximately 4,000 corporate earning stories are being written by computers. The AP uses a program called Wordsmith, created

Roko mat Toko mat

Bachpan se bada koi school nahi, curiosity se badi koi teacher nahi. There is no greater school than childhood and no greater teacher than curiosity. Parle G (the largest selling brand of biscuits in the world) asks parents to encourage their child's curiosity and creativity in its campaign called 'Kal ke genius'. While the song has an '80s feel, it is the soul of the film and is written, sung and composed very well. The song aptly encapsulates the philosophy of the campaign. It is urging people to let their kids be just kids and let them explore if they are curious. Parle-G 's Glucose biscuits always evoke a sense of nostalgia. The ad in a nice way talks about the increasing parental control and societal pressures that make kids these days spend more time in study classes than learning through exploring new things. Curiosity is actually the best teacher. Unfortunately, it is just the kind of a thing which parents often discourage. In fact, we keep stopping ch

How automating feedback with AI powered conversations can aid decision making in real-time

How automating feedback with AI powered conversations can aid decision making in real-time All systems need feedback to learn, improve and course correct. The autopilot functionality in driverless cars is a perfect example. Sensors measure the desired speed and position of the vehicle — among other indicators — and send that data to control systems which adjust accordingly. Gathering rich, organic feedback on a continuous basis is necessary for managers and regulators to make informed decisions. Robust feedback means honoring people’s authentic voices, rather than shoehorning them into a multiple choice format. It means taking the time to find out how many others share what may be a surprising opinion (to management) or understanding of a situation. It means preserving minority opinions. It means listening well. But getting rich feedback from a population usually starts with in-depth interviews of a representative sample. Surveys are then created based on the interviews to see which id